Pickings were slim for breakfast in the Carbzilla household this morning. Probably a good thing since I was recovering from a birthday cake hangover. I needed to keep it light. A little too much this:

Let's not forget that the raisins were RUM-SOAKED!!!!

leads to the need for a lot more of these instead:

Chai Chocolate Smoothie

1 c. unsweetened Almond Milk

1 heaping tsp. Green & Black’s Organic cocoa powder

1 small scoop Amazing Grass Green Superfood Chocolate powder

2 T  s/f Torani Chai Tea syrup (I used less, and it wasn’t enough)

1 scoop Jay Robb Vanilla Whey Protein powder (I suppose if you had chocolate you could skip the Amazing Grass above)

Guar gum/Xanthan gum

5-6 ice cubes.

Vita that baby up!

I enjoyed the rest of my birthday and totally appreciated all the kind blog and Facebook wishes! Chris celebrated my birthday with a big house project: he ripped the old carpeting off our stairs so they went from this:to this:which would have been super great if a) the wood was anything worth sanding and staining, and b) it didn’t sound like a parade of Clydesdales every time we went up and down the stairs now. But all his hard work was not a waste at all because it allows me to paint all the way down to the stairs before we have new carpeting put in (which won’t be for a while, I suspect). For my part, I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and napped.

I wrapped up my birthday evening with frozen pizza, and the Emmy’s followed by The Cove (which I missed part of when I napped AGAIN). I’ve learned that any significant amount of carbs these days equals nap for me! Anyway, naps and all, it was a great birthday weekend.

Happy Monday!

I’m in shock and disbelief, but, it’s true, I’mHoly crap – how did that happen?

We started the celebration Friday night when friends made us dinner. I have terrific friends who knew we were in need of comfort food so they made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I should mention it was bacon-wrapped meatloaf! (Pictures didn’t do it justice) The important thing is we ended with a homemade flourless chocolate cake.Super yummy! (Diet, what diet?)

The next day, we had a luncheon planned at my Aunt and Uncle’s house at Mason Lake. My Aunt can put together a spread like nobody’s business, but I didn’t want to put her out so I told her we’d all bring stuff. I made Mama Pea’s Vegan Ceviche and an Orzo salad.There are a million ways to make the Orzo salad but this one had dried cherries, pumpkin seeds, and gorgonzola crumbles. The dressing is lemon juice and olive oil, salt and pepper. Then you toss is arugula leaves before serving. It’s delish.

My aunt was in charge of the deviled eggs (of which I ate many), and her super amazing Carrot Cake:

You gotta love her rings!

I think the secret to this cake is the rum-soaked raisins! I’ll take a pic of the leftover cake that’s in our fridge so you can see the inside. It was insanely good!

Having a nice leisurely lunch with friends and family with a view of the lake is probably one of my favorite ways to spend a birthday.And being in close proximity to the beer shed doesn’t hurt.You know I don’t really drink beer and was the DD, as usual, but I still love the beer shed with all my heart. Yes, that’s a turquoise refrigerator in there.

First of all, Cady says Hi!

Life is good for this dog.

She’s felt under-represented lately, so there ya go.

I’m ignoring what the scale says until September. Roughly translated, it’s saying Move your Ass!

Instead, let’s look at some healthy eats I’ve been digging. First up, BEST soup ever:This is ridiculously delicious. I can’t really describe the flavor – it’s full of spices without being spicy. Just run out and find it!

Last weekend we went to the PCC Healthy Living Expo where they were giving out lots of samples (I may have circled the Vegan cake samples 2 or 3 times). I had a chance to try this and immediately fell in love:It’s milder than cream cheese, and a little thicker than Boursin. I had it on Essential Baking Company toast this morning (BFC 0/2), and it was trés yummy!

I think I totally forgot to mention that last week Obama visited Seattle and convened at Grand Central Bakery which is owned and run by folks I know. It was super exciting for them and fantastic publicity! I just happened to be eating a similar turkey sandwich at home that day on GCB bread! (I’m sure his was better because it had chutney on it!) My new favorite GCB bread is the Campagnolo. It makes awesome toast.

To cheer myself up, we’ve booked a getaway in a couple of months. We’ll be staying here in Portland:
That’s 435 sq feet of pure escape! I can’t wait! Instead of heading to Bowen Island this weekend, we’re going to Mason Lake instead. That’s fine with me. I’m just happy to run away!

Any fun plans for the weekend?

Thanks to 1000awesomethings.com which has already made my day.

I’ve already admitted how hard this summer has been. I really thought last week was the apex since it started with my unemployment hearing and ended with the excruciating decision to end Derby’s suffering.

I was wrong.

There was an unexpected coup de grâce that caught me totally by surprise. It was an act so ill-timed that I will simply never be able to comprehend it: Sobbing uncontrollably, I called my mother to tell her that we had just put Derby down, that he was gone, and, in response, she confessed that she’d found my blog and has been reading it, behind my back, for months.

No compliments to me, mind you. Just a confession because she’d been feeling so guilty. She just really needed to get that off her chest.

Once again, she had managed to stun me into a stricken immobilization. This feeling is not new. My mother and I have a lot of bad history, and I have done my best to forgive her a lifetime of bad choices and mistreatment. She knew full well that our relationship was pieced together with only tattered thread. This is a woman with no boundaries and no filters. For good reason, I don’t like to share a lot of personal information with her, and yet I find myself telling her way too much.  Though I hadn’t shared it, if she had asked me for my URL I would have told her. Going behind my back is inexcusable.

I have looked inside myself, and I can honestly say that I don’t have an ounce of forgiveness left for her. Whether or not she means to be, she’s a con artist who can act loving but is capable of random betrayal and kicking her own child when she’s down. I literally cannot bear it any longer.

So where do I go from here? Today I found 1000 Awesome Things while searching for photos. It’s a small comfort. We’re considering moving to Portland (that seems to be what I do whenever I lose my job: plan a big, life-changing move). I’ve taken a shower, and that’s a big step. I’ll continue to eat clean and move my body. Putting one foot in front of the other seems to be the only way forward at the moment.